For parents of young learners
My child is afraid of making mistakes
Some children would rather say nothing than risk saying something wrong. In speaking and English especially, this fear holds them back, because you only improve by trying. The good news is that children can learn to see mistakes as part of learning. Here are 10 ways to help and 8 things to say.
By the Eloqova team · Updated 8 November 2026
Free printable kit for your child's class: speaking worksheets and a speech planner.Get it freeMistakes mean learning: A child who feels safe making mistakes tries more, speaks more and learns faster than a child who waits to be perfect.
Why some children fear mistakes
- They have been laughed at or scolded for a mistake.
- They hear a lot of praise for being "clever", so mistakes feel like failing.
- They compare themselves with siblings or classmates.
- They see adults get upset about their own mistakes.
- They are naturally careful and like to get things right.
10 ways to build a brave mindset
- Share your own mistakes and what you learned: "I burnt the roti today, so I'll lower the flame next time."
- Praise effort and trying, not just correct answers.
- Add the word "yet": "You can't say it yet."
- Read stories about characters who fail and try again.
- Never laugh at a mistake, and stop siblings from doing it.
- Correct gently, later, and only one thing at a time.
- Celebrate a "brave try" each day at dinner.
- Give tasks that are a little hard so your child gets used to struggling a bit.
- Talk about famous people who made many mistakes before succeeding.
- Stay calm when things go wrong; your child copies your reaction.
8 things to say instead
| Instead of | Try saying |
|---|---|
| "That's wrong." | "Nice try. Let's look at it together." |
| "You're so clever!" | "You worked really hard on that." |
| "Don't make mistakes." | "Mistakes help your brain grow." |
| "Why can't you get this?" | "You can't do it yet. Let's practise." |
| "Be careful!" | "Have a go. It's okay if it isn't perfect." |
| "That's easy." | "This might feel tricky, and that's okay." |
| "Stop crying, it's nothing." | "It's frustrating. Let's take a breath and try again." |
| "Let me do it." | "What could you try next?" |
How to practise at home
- Each evening, everyone shares one mistake and what they learned.
- Use the word "yet" at least once a day.
- Praise one brave try every day.
- Play games where everyone loses sometimes, and model being a good loser.
Questions parents ask
Why is my child so afraid of making mistakes?
Often because they've been laughed at, compare themselves with others, or have been praised mostly for being clever rather than for effort.
How do I help my child not to fear mistakes?
Share your own mistakes, praise effort, use the word "yet", correct gently and later, and celebrate brave tries.
Does fear of mistakes affect speaking English?
Yes. Many children stay quiet in English because they're scared of being wrong. Feeling safe to make mistakes helps them speak much more.
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